I can’t believe that I am going to be 40 years old. These last 10 years have been the best 10 years. I have learned so much about myself and grown the most I have in my entire life. It took some time but I am thankful for the things that have happened for me, instead of having the mindset of things happening to me.
Things I have learned about myself
It’s fun to think about my life on things that I have done, things I would have done differently, world events, job situations, mental health, etc. Here are 40 things I have learned in the past 40 years. (I’m going to try and make them different than other years.)
- Age is just a number. You can start over at any time. I love the video from Judge Judy about age.
- People will be in your life for a season, a reason, or a lifetime. This has been my mantra these past couple of months. I’m learning to create boundaries and that has caused some relationships to change. W
- Be thankful it happened. Even if it doesn’t work out in the way you wanted. There is a situation I think about often and I am thankful for the situation even though it’s not how I thought it would be. I’m learning so much about myself, and I couldn’t be happier. I also say something similar about jobs – you learn everything at every job or position both good and bad.
- Things happen for you, not to you. This is one that took me a long time to really embrace, and to be honest I don’t think I am 100% there yet.
- Bad times will not be forever. They may seem like it but they won’t. As a person who struggles with anxiety and depression, it is hard to remember this but I am so thankful for my friends who remind me it’s only temporary.
- You have to have the bad times to appreciate the good. This goes with the one above but you have to appreciate the storm to appreciate the rainbows. If anything was good all the time, you wouldn’t understand who good things could be but you don’t know any better. The goal is for it to be level for just the right about of ups and downs when you look a the bigger picture.
- Start saving for retirement. I wish I would have started saving money earlier. I wish I had learned earlier and/or paid attention to invest in my future. Also, I wish I would have saved money instead of buying things to fit in or impress people. I have an up-and-down relationship with money.
- Delayed gratification is more important than instant gratification. I don’t think this is on that I will be able to understand or get, but I will try.
- Be where your feet are. Be in this very moment. I learned this skill when I had a life coach, and I use it all the time. It has helped limit the number of my panic attacks.
- It’s ok to outgrow things and even people. We all change and grow. It’s ok to not be that same person. The goal is to have friends and family that embrace and encourage you to grow.
- Create boundaries.
- Self-care is important. Take time to do things for yourself. You have to take care of yourself before you can take care of others. Self-care can look different for everyone. Self-care for me is weekly spa nights.
- If it makes sense to you. That’s all that matters. This has been my new mantra when people don’t understand why I am doing something. I tell them if it makes sense to me that’s all that matters. Don’t let what other people think, stop you from doing what you want.
- Stick up for yourself. No one else will do it for you. Advocate for yourself. Don’t let people quiet your opinions or ideas.
- People aren’t paying attention to you. You think they are but they aren’t.
- Take the trip. Do that thing you wanted. Even if you have to do it alone. Do it!
- Your worth is not determined by your looks. You are worth so much more. This is something I struggle with constantly. I also don’t take compliments about my looks, but I am working on it.
- You are good enough! Never let anyone tell you or make you feel otherwise. This is currently my mantra right now. I am ENOUGH! I write it every day in my journal.
- Time heals everything!
- Embrace yourself for who you are. Every unique and quirky thing about yourself. There is only one YOU and be that BEST person! I wish I embraced who I was sooner. I feel like there is so much wasted time on me trying to fit in.
- Don’t be afraid to ask for help. There is nothing wrong with asking for some help. This has been my downfall for me. I have done a lot of dumb stuff because I didn’t want to ask for help.
- Failure is not a bad thing. It’s an opportunity to learn and grow and take a different path. Be open to failing and learning what you need to move forward. Another one that I learned the long way.
- Wash your face!
- Experiences vs Things. Right now I am all about experiencing as much as possible. I want to see and do everything.
- Read every day.
- Be willing to say you are wrong!
- Not everything will result in closure, and you have to be ok with that. This is a tough one for me because I want everything to end in a nice box with a pretty bow on it.
- Not everyone will like you and you do not need to like everyone either.
- Have manners. Be Kind to everyone. Everyone is fighting a battle we know nothing about. It’s not hard to be kind to people.
- Listen more, talk less. Let the other people finish their thought before you respond. Try to listen to what people are saying.
- Learn from your mistakes.
- Apologize
- Be willing to sit in difficult situations. The first instinct is to figure out how to get out of this situation as quickly as possible, but you have to be in the tough times to learn something. Lean into it. It’s not always easy but it’s always worth it.
- Control the controllables. Focus on what you can do.
- Learn a skill or hobby just for the fun of it. Mine is to crochet. For a while, I did try to make money off it but I finally came to the realization not everything is about money. Some times are just for you.
- Find something just for you. Mine is the spa. Sometimes I’ll make an appointment at a spa for a spa day, but EVERY Sunday I do a spa night at home. Sometimes it’s just a mask and deep skincare routine. Sometimes I go all out and do a head-to-toe spa on myself. This is something that I do JUST FOR ME.
- Be open to feedback. I wish I knew and accepted this early. For so long I took feedback as something I did wrong and that I was imperfect and useless. I took feedback in a negative way for so long. When I received feedback I would sometimes be destroyed because I took it so personal like they didn’t like me anymore, etc.
- Never stop learning/growing.
- Move your body. I wish I started going to the gym earlier.
- Find your community. Find your friends and be there for them. Let them be there for you.
