39 Things I have Learned in 39 Years

I am not really a birthday person, but this year I am so excited about my birthday. I think it’s because I am in a different mindset than I have been in for a long time. But I am slowly starting to feel comfortable in my own skin, and confident in who I am. Here are 39 Things I have Learned in 39 Years.

Here are things that I have learned or still learning. They are in no particular order.

1. It’s ok to ask for help. I was really bad at asking for help. There are a lot of things that I would redo by asking for help. I’m getting better, but still not there yet. This is going to be something I will always have to work on.
2. No one is perfect. I am self-proclaimed (not proud about it) perfectionist. I want everything to be perfect. It has stopped me with so many things in the past because it wasn’t perfect. In my 30’s it finally snuck in and the mantra became progress over perfection. (Thanks Lara Casey)
3. Try it Once. I have come into trying or doing something at least once. I have actually come to like things that I didn’t think I would, so I am glad I tried it.
4. Go with the flow is ok… sometimes. I am not a go-with-the-flow type of person. I like my structure and planning life, but I am trying to find a healthy balance.
5. You don’t have to put up with negativity. It doesn’t matter who they are or if they are related to you. In the past, I did this in a very aggressive and hostile way. I have been reading a lot of self-development books lately and learned a better to cut off or take a break from a relationship. I have set boundaries with people that I never thought I would set boundaries with before.
6. Create my own version of success. I would say in my 20’s I tried to fit into the mold of what society thought was successful. When I was about to turn 30, I did have a breakdown because we didn’t have a house or kids. Looking back now, it’s funny but not at the time. Success is not something I need to rush to, but something that is constantly happening.
7. Be a believer, not a cynic. I got this one from Chris Guillebeau, but it’s so true. Believe in the possibility of things.
8. Being emotional is ok. I only recently came to terms with this one. I learned that I am a Highly Sensitive Person and an empath. When I learned about both of these things it made so much sense.
9. Agree to Disagree. I actually love having more friends and people in my life who have different views than myself. Being able to have a conversation with them and hearing their perspective without having to defend my own. It has changed how I communicate with people, and really listen without responding.
10. More experiences. Experiences over Things. I am all about experiencing more things even if they are a little scary.
11. Be Yourself. I wish I had embraced who I was sooner because I think I missed out on a lot of cool stuff. But I also believe that everything happens for a reason.
12. Mindset is Everything.
13. Kindness is not a weakness. People have been taking my kindness that I was weak or too nice for my own good. In the past it would really upset me because I was just being me. Now when I stick up for myself people are shocked because they didn’t think I could be that aggressive. I don’t want to be walked all over or injustice.
14. Sometimes you have cut people out of your life.
15. You are the sum of the 5 people you hang out with.
16. Manners get you everywhere. It is not hard to say please and thank you. Or just being a decent human to someone one.
17. You don’t have to finish the book. For the longest time I would finish everybook even if I hated it. I felt it I started something I should finish it. It wasn’t until recently that I would put the book down.
18. Create your own level and definition of success. For the LONGEST time I tried to fit into a mold. I was miserable.
19. It’s OK to go with the flow. Sometimes it’s ok to not be in control of everything.
20. Stop Overthinking!! I literally tell myself this EVERY SINGLE DAY! When I start to go down that bunny hole I stop because I have done it for so long. Most of the time what I was thinking never happened.
21. Some friends are in your life for reason, season or a lifestyle. I couldn’t agree more with this statement. People who I thought were my friends
22. Forgive but don’t forget.
23. Failure is not bad. It’s reaching you something. I wish I would have learned and believed this earlier in life. Failure is a good thing. We should want failure to some degree
24. Time does heal everything. It may take a while, and a lot of work on your part.
25. Not everyone will like you. And you won’t like everyone. I wish I believe this one sooner in life. I tried to make everyone like me and what they wanted from me. It led to a whole lot of heartache on my end.
26. What you think are your weakness is actually your strength. I think this could be a whole blog post because I feel like I have “weakness” in a lot of areas. But when I think of them as my strength it makes me a better person. I have always been sensitive, but I can feel things on a deeper level. I never knew that I was an empath, but it’s a surreal feeling that I am able to feel others’ emotions and feelings like they are my own.
27. Celebrate your accomplishments. I love setting goals and trying to accomplish them. The thing I wouldn’t do is celebrate and enjoy the accomplishment. One thing my husband and I say sometimes is that wish we enjoyed being engaged before starting to plan the wedding.
28. Sit in your messes. I heard this from a class that I took with The Influence Network. (I miss this so much) She said sometimes you have to sit in your messes. You have feel the uncomfortable, the pain, struggle to really grow from it. That really struck something within me because I had always thought of my messes has something I wanted to get out of ASAP.
29. Pick your battles. I am still learning this one.
30. Your job doesn’t define you. This was something of mine in my 20s. I thought my job defined who I was as a person.
31. Start saving for retirement early.
32. Getting older isn’t that bad. I use to hate getting older. I don’t know why because I knew it was going to happen. In my 30’s I learned a lot about myself, and age is just a number. It doesn’t define you in any other way. Now I just be myself and have the best time.
33. Always be learning. (and changing) I am a unicorn in the fact I LOVE CHANGE. I like growing and evolving and changing. In the past few years I did feel like I was stagnant in learning and I am recommitting to that.
34. Don’t compromise. Have your things that you don’t want to budge on. When our friends ask us how we knew we wanted to marry each other. We knew what we each wanted and talked about the “deal breakers.” We were on the page with a lot of the same things.
35. Take Solo Trips. In my 20s I would do things all the time by myself. In my 30s I didn’t. I am going to start doing solo things more often.
36. Give others grace, All of our problems are important and valued. I use to not talk about my feelings or what was bothering me because I thought other people had it worst. I shouldn’t complain. We all have stuff going on. One persons tragedy isn’t more valued than another.
37. Don’t take yourself too seriously. I am right in the middle of this one. At work I am so goofy and just have a blast.
38. Travel as much as you can. See things. Being able to travel because of baseball has been AMAZING. I have experienced and met so many different people.
39. Be Happy!

I hope you have liked my list of 39 Things I have Learned in 39 Years. I still can’t believe I’m 39 because I don’t feel 39 years old. Here’s to another year.